Navigating the Sandwich Generation Part 1: Understanding the Squeeze and Why It Feels So Hard Right Now
It's 6:43 AM, and your phone won't stop buzzing. Your teenager needs a form signed for today's field trip. Your mom's doctor appointment got moved—again—and now it's at the same time as an important work meeting. You're looking up home care options on your laptop while making breakfast. You wonder how other people manage all this. Your coffee gets cold while you arrange rides, order medications, and try to figure out if you can pay for both your daughter's hockey and someone to help with your dad for a few hours this week.
If this feels like your life, you're not losing your mind—and you’re not alone. There's actually a name for what you're going through. You're part of the “sandwich generation”: adults stuck in the middle, caregiving for aging parents while still raising children.
Shifts over time in how Canadian families live and work mean you're facing challenges your parents probably never had to handle. Knowing why this is happening—and that you're not alone in feeling tired, overwhelmed, sad, guilty, or even angry—can help.
This article explores why things might feel so hard right now and shares practical strategies to help you navigate this demanding season of life.
Who Is the Sandwich Generation?
The sandwich generation refers to middle-aged adults squeezed between caring for aging parents and raising children at the same time. According to Statistics Canada, 1.8 million Canadians—13% of all those providing unpaid care—were sandwich caregivers in 2022.
This experience affects different generations in unique ways:
Gen X (born 1965-1980) bears the heaviest load right now, with teenage or young adult children and parents entering their 70s and 80s.
Millennials (born 1981-1996) increasingly join the sandwich generation as they start families later in life while their Baby Boomer parents need more support.
Baby Boomers (born 1946-1964) are typically the aging parents receiving care, though some younger Boomers may still be caring for their own elderly parents.
The traditional family timeline has shifted dramatically over the past 60 years. Previous generations had kids at 20, became empty nesters by 40, and their parents typically lived to 60-70. Today? Many have children at 35, their kids stay home past 25, and their parents live well into their 80s and 90s. This creates a 20-year caregiving marathon instead of what used to be a short sprint.
Cultural expectations around filial piety can intensify these pressures. Gender also plays a role, with Statistics Canada highlighting that women are more likely than men to be sandwich caregivers.
Many people don't realize they're part of this group. Why?
Some people might think the situation is temporary, or that everyone manages these responsibilities. Some don't see themselves as "caregivers"—they're just being a good son or daughter. Others are too overwhelmed to step back and recognize the situation, or they assume their struggles are personal failures rather than the result of cultural and demographic shifts.
Knowing you're not alone can help. As it turns out, millions of Canadian families are going through the exact same thing.
The Perfect Storm: How We Got Here
Three major shifts have created today's sandwich generation:
People are living longer
People are having kids later in life
Adult children are staying home into their twenties and thirties
These shifts mean caregiving now lasts for decades instead of a few short years.
In Canada, an aging population has contributed to the squeeze. In a recent article for Maisonneuve, Sheima Benembarek points out that, “[W]hile in 2003 12.8 percent of Canadians were sixty-five and older, by 2023 that proportion had risen to 18.9 percent. Statistics Canada projections estimate that by 2068, up to 29 percent of Canadians could be considered seniors.”
According to Pierre-Carl Michaud, professor of economics at the business school HEC Montréal, people having children at older ages has also contributed to the growth of the sandwich generation: "Fifty years ago, no one at forty was having children. They all had their children in their twenties. And when you were forty or forty-five, your parents [had passed].”
Cultural shifts in parenting
Modern parenting takes a lot of time and energy. Parents today are often more involved in their children's development and activities than previous generations. This might look like driving kids to sports practice and staying to watch, or having more involvement in planning social activities. Social media and the scroll of others’ curated family moments online can also make us question if we're doing enough.
The intensified demands of contemporary parenting can add to parents' stress levels and make life balance harder to achieve.
The Baby Boomer factor
Baby Boomers pride themselves on staying active and young at heart. While the “we’re not getting old” mindset has many benefits, it can also mean Boomers wait a long time to ask for help or to accept that they need support. Adult children often struggle to start care conversations with parents who insist they're "doing just fine.” Boomers may also expect their adult children to step in when help becomes necessary, but their fierce independence creates tension when that time arrives.
The clash between Boomers' expectations and reality adds another layer to the squeeze. They want to remain independent but may also assume their children will naturally fill any care gaps - without necessarily discussing what that means for everyone involved.
The Time Squeeze: When You Need to Be in Two Places at Once
The daily juggling act of caring for children and aging parents creates impossible scheduling challenges. Soccer practice conflicts with medical appointments. School concerts overlap with hospital visits. There's simply not enough time to be everywhere at once.
For sandwich caregivers, being "always on" for multiple generations means exhaustion becomes the norm. Previous generations might have cared for parents or children, but rarely both at the same time. Today's sandwich generation has little time for themselves; self-care becomes a luxury they can't afford when everyone else's needs come first.
Home life isn't the only thing affected. Careers can suffer dramatically, too. According to the 2024 Stats Canada study on sandwich caregiving:
Over 30% reported having to adjust their work schedules to manage caregiving responsibilities
11% had to give up career opportunities because of these duties
6% said they had either lost their job or been forced to quit in the previous twelve months due to caregiving demands
These continually shifting demands at home and work can take a heavy toll. The result is higher instances of caregiver fatigue and burnout. As Benembarek describes, "...it's almost impossible not to let the feelings take over: the pressure to take care of both generations, the guilt of continuing to fall short of one's own standards and the constant fatigue.”
“I felt I was neglecting my kids. Even though your teenagers don’t need you, they need you for rides, they need you around, or for dinner. And I missed them. I just missed seeing my family. It’s been very draining.”
- Esther Howell, sandwich caregiver
Looking ahead - Part 2
The pressures are only half the story. The real weight comes from what this juggling act can do to your emotions. In Part 2, we’ll explore the emotional toll of caring for multiple generations and share practical strategies that can help lighten the load. Don’t miss part 2, subscribe to our newsletter to be sure.
About Care Possible
Care Possible is a non-profit social enterprise by Manitoba Possible, dedicated to providing affordable, flexible, and preference-based in-home and respite care services. We support seniors, individuals with disabilities, and families using self and family-managed care in Winnipeg. Our mission is to ensure that every Manitoban who accesses care has an excellent experience.